Thursday, September 23, 2010

Argumentative…

I got inspired by a ‘friends’ post in regards to arguing in a relationship. Now granted the post was for fun with a hint of seriousness, but it got my creativity going…

Arguments are a fact of life…family, friends, and dating relationships.
There are some things that make them worse in specific relating to specific people.
Basis of most arguments I think is this: there’s 2 things about a guy that’s (usually) a fact:
1. They hate Drama
2. They hate to reassure.
The smart thing to do would be find a woman without drama, where the man doesn’t need to always reassure(b.c it'll come naturally)Could arguments be lessened without a woman’s dramatic reaction and the man dreading he has to reassure all the time?

I think to add onto those 2 basic things…is trust and honesty.
So many guys I’ve dated didn’t trust my reaction to how they were feeling or thinking assuming that my reaction would be dramatic. So they held it in, didn’t say anything…disappeared.
My reaction to them ‘disappearing’...drama-ish. I’m human...infallible...I’m not perfect…but I am a person who hates avoidance and dishonesty. It really pisses me off…and hurts that my emotional reaction can’t be trusted....when they didnt even give me a chance to show how little drama I can be.

On the flip side…what guy is going really feel they can be honest in a relationship? They perhaps think they are showing they care by staying quiet and make the other happy? But then the truth is never told…hidden within and seeping deep into the core of the relationships strength…eating it slowly away. If this happens every time…it will crumble from within…
Women will eventually be able to tell that there is something amiss…then…the argument starts.

It takes a lot of trust to be able to be honest…
It can take a lot for a woman to realize the honesty coming from a guy…take a step back from reacting and appreciate that the guy is taking a chance at being truthful. Then calmly discuss…

If the relationship is strong, meant to be…then arguments need to turn into discussion on how to make things better.

As for me…the more I know…ahead of time, upfront and with honesty…the more I am clear headed and not dramatic about it at all. My ‘off’ button to possibly being upset about what may need to be said…is sweet talking. (baby,hunnie,sweety etc). Makes me feel better about the situation; feel that somewhere in their honesty…they still care.
“I’m sorry sweetheart…but I’m not interested in you that way.”

Women…if you want that honesty, you got to give up the drama to listen and work it out…
Guys…take a chance…be honest…and really consider if you’re with the right girl if she doesn’t try to be drama free to work on the relationship…

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