Expectations

I’ve come to realize…that’s a deadly word to have in a relationship. The kind of expectation women have from a romance novel…or romance movie…sets too high expectations from a man.
This type of expectation…leaves the woman always needing and wanting more from their partner that only leads to trouble. Don’t get me wrong…I’m not saying a guy is incapable of the romance that comes from those stories….
But when a guy says he cares, loves you, wants you in their life…the thoughts from a romance story creeps in. Expecting to get the sweep you off your feet feeling. The ladies are expecting the most romantic journey of their life…while the guy is content with simple. Expecting that when a guy says those wonderful things that they are going to be getting all the ‘more’ they’ve been searching for.
This is unhealthy in a relationship…it leads to a lot of discontent, drama and can lead to communication being broken. Meanwhile the guy is feeling more and more pushed into a corner they aren’t ready for. This kind of expectation…does nothing but put poison into a healthy relationship. The woman becomes more and more insecure and losing confidence in the things said ,done to where there is nothing left but continual doubt.
Why is that though? Why can’t the things he’s done be good enough? Why must we women torture ourselves with this overbearing feeling of not being good enough or that they will inevitably leave us in the long run?
Personally…I think I’ve excelled in life…at pushing men away because of this. The logical side of me sees it all happening as if a slow horror movie is unfolding. The emotional side is blinded by hope that everything is ok…leaving me empty, waiting, and unhappy.
Just like out of a romance novel…I wait while my knight in shining armor is off fighting dragons. Waiting…leaving everything else behind to focus on growing romance and growing the relationship…while the guy isn’t even there. It becomes one-sided and then you realize that it is…you’re left with nothing to show for it…initiating everything to a point where you feel like…if you didn’t do it or say it…they never will. Meanwhile….he’s still off fighting dragons…has no clue… and I’m all alone.
So what then…when you’re at the point in realizing that it’s not a romance novel…but reality.
Women I think have the overwhelming tendency to over think and over analyze something that doesn’t need to be. Learning to be content with the things that can be given> The knight said he loved you before he left, he made sure you’d be well fed for the days he is gone on his journey…and even made sweet love to you the night before he left. To him..that is romance…because when he returns home…it’ll be all the more.
I’m brainstorming here….because the reality is I struggle with this everyday…taking my own advice is hard. Is there a book somewhere I can read…or map or directions to handle the dark moments while my knight is off fighting dragons and I’m left to all these torrent thoughts?
I know…deep down…It’s just the waiting…the confidence to believe in it.
And my knight…is worth waiting at home for…